Where My Peace Belongs

 

Am I toxic, or is it the world around me

Unaware, I keep moving on,

Carrying questions no one can answer,

Hoping that someday, I will find where I belong.

Perhaps one day, peace will find me,
Or perhaps, at the end of this journey,
My peace will be where my mother is,
Where no pain can reach, no sorrow exists.

She was the only soul in this world
With whom happiness felt effortless and true,
Where I could simply be myself,
Without pretending, without hiding what I knew.

I wonder if, when her eyes gently closed,
My face was the last picture they held,
A final glance filled with all her love,
A thousand unspoken words left unsaid.

I believe her soul still wanders near me,
Watching over me, wherever I go,
Whispering blessings into my difficult days,
Giving me strength when life feels low.

Perhaps I cannot see her beside me,
Perhaps I cannot hear her call,
But somewhere deep within my heart,
I believe she still helps me through it all.

Until I find the peace I search for,
I'll keep sailing through this uncertain sea,
Holding on to the love she left behind,
Trusting that her blessings still guide me.

For even when the world feels unfamiliar,
And I no longer know where I belong,
I close my eyes and remember my mother—
And find the strength to carry on.

A Dream I Once Lived

Just a smile, and memories flow,

Like pages turning from long ago.

I turn through moments, one by one,

Reliving a story that time has outrun.

A disappointed smile finds its way,

As yesterday's dreams revisit today.

Time has passed; it was just a dream,

Yet it felt so real, or so it seemed.

Though it was a dream, I lived it true,

In a world where I was close to.

Some dreams may fade as years go by,

Yet some remain, no matter how hard we try.

For what we live in the heart's deepest core,

Time cannot erase, nor distance ignore.

Though life moves on and dreams depart,

What once felt real still lives in the heart.

The Wait Without a Why

Now waiting has no meaning,

No purpose left, no hope worth dreaming.

It serves no use, yet still I stay,

Waiting in silence, day by day.

I wait… though I know not why,
Perhaps for a truth I cannot deny.
Perhaps for nothing, perhaps for peace,
Or for this longing to someday cease.

Maybe I wait for the silence to grow,
To quiet the feelings I cannot show.
Until my restless heart finds release,
And learns to let go, and live in peace.

A Yes Trapped in Silence

Twice the offer came my way,

Without a warning, without a say,

That this might be the final chance,

A fleeting moment, a silent dance.

My heart wished to accept, to say yes,
To end the doubt, to feel no less.
But fear unknown held me inside,
While silent words refused to slide.

Fear sealed my lips, restrained my hands,
And left unspoken what my heart planned.
Though every beat wished to break through,
Silence prevailed, as it always knew.

And so the moment slipped away,
With words unsaid and no delay.
No one chose the distance that grew,
Yet silence built it between...

A Smile in the Echo

 

Years go on, and decades pass,

Like shadows over fleeting glass,

Yet deep within this quiet chest,

Your absent warmth is still a guest.

Almost every single day,

In subtle ways you cannot weigh,

You never know—and never might—

That you remain a distant light,

The reason why a smile appears,

To hold the warmth of former years.

It blooms, it stays, it smiles again,

A tender, natural refrain…

And yet, behind the gentle art,

It hides a softly broken heart—

So seamless to the outside view,

So real, yet fake,  for wanting you.

My Only Home

Nobody loved me like my mother did,

She was the only one I had, it's true.

Why did I dream and keep my feelings hid?

I made up hope that never lived in you.

Now I can see that no one cares at all,

There's nobody left in this world for me.

Why should I waste my mind upon their call,

Or think of anyone who couldn't see?

So foolish was I, thinking someone cared,

Believing some heart beat for me alone.

I'm so tired now of every cross I've bared,

I cannot live, and yet I can't die on.

I just wait for the day to reach my mom,

And stay beside her forever and a day.

Dear God, please keep us safe where it is calm,

And pack my soul inside hers all the way.

After the GoodBye

I knew you would go away,

I was ready for that day.

I prepared my heart, I let it be,

Accepted goodbye silently.

I wanted to thank you before you left,
For every moment, for all you gave.
I thought I could smile and say farewell,
And let the memories rest as well.

But the heart still wanders, lost and slow,
Waiting for someone it already knows won’t show.
Stupid heart—it knows it’s done,
Yet waits beneath the setting sun.

Somewhere, I wish I meet you someday,
Just once, perhaps, along life’s way.
And yet, the same heart whispers too
“Please, never let me meet you.”