My Own World

 

It is my world. Why should I stop writing just because you come or go?

It is my own mind, so why should I run away from it?

Why shouldn't I say what I actually feel?

It is my world—my imaginary world.

I talk and live inside this safe space where it is just me and my mom.

I keep rambling on, and she just nods and laughs gently at my little mistakes.

She is my life; her smile is what keeps me going.

It is my beautiful world, and I refuse to let anyone tear it down.

No one gets to break my heart or shatter this home I built inside my head.

Yes, I did fall in love.

Must I die just because that love fades away?

It was their choice to leave, but my love was always pure.

I waited and waited, and no answer ever came—not even a single word.

That is fine. I am happy here with my mom.

Let them be happy in their own life, sailing on and moving on like a hero.

But I am not going to die, and I am certainly not going to run away from my imaginary world.

This is where I live my life to the fullest with my mom.

I tell her everything. I do not know how, but somewhere out there, she just might hear me,

smile softly, and say: "I will come soon."

The Waiting Fool

I say I'm sorry, though the words sound weak

This foolish heart refuses to be wise;

I cry and beg, though silence is you speak,

And know well enough how hope-born reason dies.

I stand no longer with my arms outspread,

Not waiting by the door for you to call;

Yet something in me lingers, fast instead,

As if just waiting for a heavy fall.

Damn it, what is it waiting for today?

Perhaps to learn the lesson one more time,

To take a final, sharp and bitter slap,

For daring to keep loving this sublime.

Sunny, Far Away

Sunny, whom I can never reach,
Never meet, never see, never touch;
Never feel your warmth beside me,
Yet somehow your light still finds me.

Just like your name, you are the sun
Bright, distant, shining on everyone;
Always glowing from afar,
A beautiful light, a distant star.

Too far for my hands to ever hold,
Yet warm in memories I unfold;
Sunny, you shine where I cannot be,
Forever bright… and far from me.

The Wait I Cannot Stop

Though I know you won't be back, I wait,

Though I don't want you back, I hesitate.

It isn't that I find joy in the pain,

Or wish to live through it again.

I don't wait for you to return to me,

I simply cannot stop what my heart makes me see.

Somewhere between letting go and moving on,

I miss you still, though everything is gone.

The Unwritten Rule

Forget the dreams, for life has other plans,

It bends for no one and ignores the heart;

We slip like water through the world's cold hands,

And play our fleeting, transitory part.

Each soul is just a teacher passing through,

A fragile mortal tied to time and breath,

To learn the lessons that are handed due,

Before we cross the silent halls of death.

The proof is right before your weary eyes:

The world moves forward, careless of our pain.

So dry the tears, dismiss the quiet sighs,

And let the river take its course again.

The Pure Intent

 

Not born of flesh, nor tainted by desire,

It was a love as quiet as the dawn;

A gentle spark, a pure and sacred fire,

That warmed my spirit as the years went on.

I am no monster, though my heart is torn,

Just terrified to find my feeling wrong;

In silent prayer, with soul and spirit worn,

I plead to God where honest grief belongs:

Please, hear my truth—my heart is undefiled.

I only loved as rivers meet the sea,

As pure and simple as a frightened child,

Who only hoped that love could set them free.

The Priceless Mistake

 

They call it wrong, a million errors made,

To love a soul who never could be mine;

Yet in my heart, that choice will never fade

To me, it feels immortal and divine.

I lived a lifetime in a single glance,

And felt myself a piece of who you are;

We never stood a tethered, waking chance,

Yet you became my close and guiding star.

I'm glad I fell, and glad I called it love,

Though confessing it destroyed the quiet space;

Had I kept silent, safe from storm above,

I still would catch your everyday embrace

A secret gleam of light to watch afar,

A quiet joy, unburdened and untold,

To keep you as my own unspoken star,

And warm my hands against the wintry cold.