Where My Peace Belongs

 

Am I toxic, or is it the world around me

Unaware, I keep moving on,

Carrying questions no one can answer,

Hoping that someday, I will find where I belong.

Perhaps one day, peace will find me,
Or perhaps, at the end of this journey,
My peace will be where my mother is,
Where no pain can reach, no sorrow exists.

She was the only soul in this world
With whom happiness felt effortless and true,
Where I could simply be myself,
Without pretending, without hiding what I knew.

I wonder if, when her eyes gently closed,
My face was the last picture they held,
A final glance filled with all her love,
A thousand unspoken words left unsaid.

I believe her soul still wanders near me,
Watching over me, wherever I go,
Whispering blessings into my difficult days,
Giving me strength when life feels low.

Perhaps I cannot see her beside me,
Perhaps I cannot hear her call,
But somewhere deep within my heart,
I believe she still helps me through it all.

Until I find the peace I search for,
I'll keep sailing through this uncertain sea,
Holding on to the love she left behind,
Trusting that her blessings still guide me.

For even when the world feels unfamiliar,
And I no longer know where I belong,
I close my eyes and remember my mother—
And find the strength to carry on.

A Dream I Once Lived

Just a smile, and memories flow,

Like pages turning from long ago.

I turn through moments, one by one,

Reliving a story that time has outrun.

A disappointed smile finds its way,

As yesterday's dreams revisit today.

Time has passed; it was just a dream,

Yet it felt so real, or so it seemed.

Though it was a dream, I lived it true,

In a world where I was close to.

Some dreams may fade as years go by,

Yet some remain, no matter how hard we try.

For what we live in the heart's deepest core,

Time cannot erase, nor distance ignore.

Though life moves on and dreams depart,

What once felt real still lives in the heart.

The Wait Without a Why

Now waiting has no meaning,

No purpose left, no hope worth dreaming.

It serves no use, yet still I stay,

Waiting in silence, day by day.

I wait… though I know not why,
Perhaps for a truth I cannot deny.
Perhaps for nothing, perhaps for peace,
Or for this longing to someday cease.

Maybe I wait for the silence to grow,
To quiet the feelings I cannot show.
Until my restless heart finds release,
And learns to let go, and live in peace.

A Yes Trapped in Silence

Twice the offer came my way,

Without a warning, without a say,

That this might be the final chance,

A fleeting moment, a silent dance.

My heart wished to accept, to say yes,
To end the doubt, to feel no less.
But fear unknown held me inside,
While silent words refused to slide.

Fear sealed my lips, restrained my hands,
And left unspoken what my heart planned.
Though every beat wished to break through,
Silence prevailed, as it always knew.

And so the moment slipped away,
With words unsaid and no delay.
No one chose the distance that grew,
Yet silence built it between...

A Smile in the Echo

 

Years go on, and decades pass,

Like shadows over fleeting glass,

Yet deep within this quiet chest,

Your absent warmth is still a guest.

Almost every single day,

In subtle ways you cannot weigh,

You never know—and never might—

That you remain a distant light,

The reason why a smile appears,

To hold the warmth of former years.

It blooms, it stays, it smiles again,

A tender, natural refrain…

And yet, behind the gentle art,

It hides a softly broken heart—

So seamless to the outside view,

So real, yet fake,  for wanting you.

My Only Home

Nobody loved me like my mother did,

She was the only one I had, it's true.

Why did I dream and keep my feelings hid?

I made up hope that never lived in you.

Now I can see that no one cares at all,

There's nobody left in this world for me.

Why should I waste my mind upon their call,

Or think of anyone who couldn't see?

So foolish was I, thinking someone cared,

Believing some heart beat for me alone.

I'm so tired now of every cross I've bared,

I cannot live, and yet I can't die on.

I just wait for the day to reach my mom,

And stay beside her forever and a day.

Dear God, please keep us safe where it is calm,

And pack my soul inside hers all the way.

After the GoodBye

I knew you would go away,

I was ready for that day.

I prepared my heart, I let it be,

Accepted goodbye silently.

I wanted to thank you before you left,
For every moment, for all you gave.
I thought I could smile and say farewell,
And let the memories rest as well.

But the heart still wanders, lost and slow,
Waiting for someone it already knows won’t show.
Stupid heart—it knows it’s done,
Yet waits beneath the setting sun.

Somewhere, I wish I meet you someday,
Just once, perhaps, along life’s way.
And yet, the same heart whispers too
“Please, never let me meet you.”

All for Nothing

I shout out loud, but you don't hear my cries,

No matter how I call, you never turn.

I try my best, but nothing satisfies,

And all my efforts burn and softly burn.

I feel so much, I miss you every day,

To you, it doesn't matter or belong;

I throw my heart and all my love away,

And realize everything I did was wrong.

Rain, Nature, and Mom

 

An early morning rain falls soft and slow,
Cool little drops with a gentle glow.
I wish I were that little child once more,
Playing beside Mom as I did before.

Staring at her face, forgetting the rain,
Smiling through joy, through every tiny pain;
Perhaps a little scolding would come my way,
Yet I’d still want to laugh and play.

Nature feels like happiness, pure and true,
But Mom, my heart always returns to you;
Of all the moments life gave to me,
You remain my sweetest memory.

The Last Goodbye

When sickness pauses life and stops the breath,

And brings us close to that long sleep of death,

Our beating heart brings back the days gone by,

And wishes for the dreams we left to die.

At that last hour, when nothing else remains,

And zero counts the riches and the pains,

We only want one look, one gentle word,

From that one person who our spirit stirred.

Our poor, sad heart knows well it cannot speak,

Too tired now to find what it would seek;

It feels so sorry, and the tears fall down,

Without a word, without a smile or frown.

No hands to wave, no final words are said—

Just one small tear upon the quiet bed,

Rolling gently from the corner of the eye,

To say the softest, and the last, goodbye.

It's Okay

When fate descends with all its heavy weight,

And ties your hands before the crushing blow,

There is no room to question or debate,

No place to turn, no other way to go.

You stand defenseless as the storm rolls in,

And feel the helplessness of bending bone,

Where even struggle is a fading sin,

And you are left completely on your own.

Yet deep inside, where quiet truths reside,

A gentle whisper stills the rising fray;

No bitter tears, no anger left to hide

The battered heart just softly sighs: "It's okay."

The Currency of Time

So much of time has drifted down the stream,

That "sorry" and "thank you" are empty now;

We wake from what was once a living dream,

And ask no pardon, nor will make a bow.

No one remains to listen or to speak,

The doors are closed against the quiet plea;

Though true the love we once were bold to seek,

It drowned beneath a vast, indifferent sea.

The days are priceless, bought with breath and bone,

Yet feelings stand like trifles in the dust;

We walk the heavy miles of earth alone,

Where time has eaten every ancient trust.

The Movie of Our Days

When looking back, the tears and laughter blend,

The heavy depressions and the silent sighs,

The love we held so close unto the end,

All lose their sharp and agonizing cries.

The ones we loved, the ones we fought and burned,

Now look like simple mortals, pure and kind;

We wonder how the pages might have turned

If we had left no shadow left behind.

Would all their joys have doubled, unconstrained,

If I had never crossed their shifting track?

It matters not what losses have remained,

Or what the silent years can render back.

Despite the weight, the trouble, and the strife,

I hold the truth: I lived a brilliant life.