After saying me that he was the one who took book from mad
person and he was the same who returned book back to library, my brother left
from my room, I thought he just went to hall, he might be watching TV. But he
went out of house itself. Was he depressed again? But I was completely in shock
to hear that words so didn't bother to think anything about whatz my brother's
reaction.
After few minutes, might be almost after one hour, I went
down to hall, to talk with my brother. He was not at hall, my parents were
watching TV. I asked, "where is Ranjan?" my mom said, "I called
him, he didn't respond for me, he moved out, might be he went to his friend's
house." I said, "Oh ok..." Silence was filled in my words now, as
my mind was thinking so much. I too sat with my parents as if I was watching
TV. But looking at TV, I was just thinking something which I can’t describe.
Was totally confused, who, what, why? all unanswered questions in my mind. I
was waiting for my brother, watching TV, I wasn't watching just looking at it.
I was waiting in hall, I never knew when my eyes closed, I
slept there on sofa, my mom had put blanket on me. I wrapped myself with
blanket and slept at sofa itself. Early morning, my mother came with coffee in
her hand. She woke me and asked, "why did u sleep here yesterday?" I
answered, "I was watching TV, never knew when I fell asleep, Its fine,
Where is Ranjan? is he in room?" My mother was moving back to kitchen, she
said, "Oh he hasn't come yesterday to home back, he might have slept at
his friend's home itself". Hearing that I was feeling somewhat more disturbed.
I want to talk with my brother; there were many questions in
myself, which is bugging me. I became silent and went back to room. Again at
room I was sleeping. My mom came and said, "aren't u going to college? What
happened are you ok? Are you feeling well? Any problem charm?" She moved
her hands on my forehead. Unable to answer or say anything to her, I said,
"nothing mom, am all set ok, shall get ready and go right now" I
smiled at her, to make her feel all is ok.
She is my mother, she knew something was disturbing me, I
wasn't normal. She found in my one statement, she said, "Cool charm, get
fresh, you would get answers for all, for all, just give time for time". I
smiled again for her words. I went to college, still mind was wandering some
sets of questions, which I feel only my brother can answer. While I was taking
stares, I remembered Sagarika. Yes, she can also help me to get answers for my
questions. I stood near her class, without attending my class. I stood and waited
but she wasn't in class. I was bit sad, though I missed my class and stood
here, it went in vain.
Still I got one way to get to my answers, Sagarika, yes, she
is only one other than my brother who can answer me. I dont want to ask my
brother, so she is only one left. I went home. My brother came very late in
night, My mother was bit scolding him. He kept quite. Silence at our room also.
I was silent, even he was silent. We both didn't talk with each other. We
remained silent.
Again early morning I went to college and stood near
Sagarika's class. She didn't come to college today also. I was almost becoming
mad with my inner raising questions and thoughts.
At home silence was still in between me and my brother. My mother
recognised something wrong between me and my brother. She came to our room. We
were sitting at opposite corner of room, holding book and with complete silence
in the room. She said aloud, "Whatz wrong with you both? why are you
behaving like enemies? did u both had a fight? Say me, I shall resolve your
both problems? now say me Sanjana, whatz wrong charm? say me..", she
focused at me, " I smiled and said, "nothing as such mom, we are
cool, no misunderstanding, no fights, Its just my head is aching from one week,
So have stopped talking thatz it". She got to know, that was just an
excuse, She moved towards my brother and said, "Well you say Ranjan, whatz
going between you and your sister?" He looked at me and then at my mom,
and started.
For a moment, I felt I shall get answers for my questions
now. "I really dont know mom, I returned book, taking from that mad
person, Sis came to know about that now. Might be she is angry with me, that I
hide that from her till now, so she is not talking with me." As soon as he
said, I screamed, "I am not angry with any?" My mom laughed and said,
"Sanjana, its nothing wrong, he didn't intentionally hide from you. It
just he felt its not big thing to share with you". I said, "I am not
asking anyone to give any reason". She said, "Sanjana, your words
clearly says you are in anger mood. Calm down charm, Forgive your brother, he his
younger to you right, forgive him, Now smile at each other, I shall take you
both for painting exhibition, get ready and come with me, you both will feel
better with each other, get ready". I turned towards my brother, he was
smiling, I too smiled.
Looking we both smiling, she just moved out smiling and
saying, "Now settle among yourself, I dont want my kids to break up with
each other" I smiled at my brother, I still was having questions for him,
does he know, who killed Surya? I proceeded towards him,
asked sorry, and was casually talking with him. I felt, its
not right time to talk with him. Let me ask Sagarika first, If I dont get
answer from her, than shall talk with my brother.
Many days spent like this, everyday I used to go to college
stand near Sagarika's class, she wasn't there. Always I was disappointed. I couldn't
control my disappointments. I asked one of her classmate, "Is Sagarika,
not coming to college, Where is she?" They answered, "She is not
coming to college. We heard she won’t be coming to college". I was again shocked,
I said bit louder, "what?" They all looked at me. I put my head down
and said, "Oh ok, thanks" and moved from there.
I was walking back to bus stand, past almost 2 weeks. I was
not attending my class properly. I went back home. Now I have only one way to
get answers, thatz my brother, I was preparing myself to ask my brother, was
framing questions, so that he doesn't know what I am asking, and I get the
answers also. I heard my brother came to home; he was talking with my mother.
He seemed as if he was happy. Again he was singing same romantic song. He put
that song from his mobile loudly, He was very happy. I suspected hearing that
romantic song itself. That he might be in love with someone? Yes, I did suspect
its Sagarika itself. Now I feel, chances of being Sagarika more, Since he was
the one who returned the book to library, He helped Sagarika. My suspection
towards my brother's love again raised up. But today, I heard from her friends
she is not coming to college. Then how is it Sagarika? How?
Something triggered in my mind, Morning walk! She will be
coming there, My brother might be meeting her there? If what I am thinking is
right, I feel, my brother killed Surya, Shit yaar, How can I think like this,
with my own brother. What am I thinking, I banged on my head and went down to hall
near my brother and said, "Ranjan.." He said, "Yup Sis? what can
I do for you?". I saw his eyes and said, "Nothing.." He saw I
was confused to ask him something. He said, "did u see that mad person
again? Now I said all truth for u, there is nothing hidden from you" I am
not involved in anything related with your questions, sis. I am damn sure about
that. He gave a broad smile to me. I smiled, "Yes, its true bro".
After a while, I called him again, "Ranjan, Will u take me to morning walk
tomorrow?" He raised his eyebrow and said, "Why? what happened
sis?". I said, "nothing just wanted to come for a walk" He said,
"ok" and went into room whistling.
Early morning, while walking with my brother, I maintained
silence with him, since I was disturbed. My brother cracked some joke, I smiled
bit and kept silence again. He saw me silent and was trying to crack as many
jokes which he can do for that moment. When we entered the park, my eyes was
gazing at the place where Sagarika used to be. I said my brother, you go a
round and come, I shall sit here for a moment, shall join you soon. He smiled
and went. I was sitting near the place where Sagarika used to do exercise?
Sitting on the bench in the park, was waiting for her.
Waiting, was thinking many things, what actually would have happened? one the
mad person killed, else my brother, no no… its not my brother, then its the mad
person itself. But how could my brother say so surely that its not mad person.
He was angry at that time; he was confirmed and confident with his words. Then
who else? My brother knows that for sure. Now I want to know about it thatz it.
Thinking that was bit tensed and looking forward for Sagarika to come.
My brother came instead of Sagarika. I said, "So early
u came back?" and looked whether Sagarika came. He said, "Sis whatz the
matter? you seems tensed? your mind seems asking many question. Whatz the
matter?" I said, "Nothing bro, nothing.." and took a deep breath
as if I was disappointed again waiting for Sagarika. She didn't turn up.
Watching me, looking for someone, my brother guessed "Oh you are searching
for Sagarika? She won’t be coming. That I can confirm to you" It was just a
guess from my brother. With disappointment, anxious to know the answer, my
temper raised and I said loudly, "You know everything Ranjan. Say me
Ranjan, I am fed up thinking about it, I don’t want to think. But I am unable
to concentrate on anything, Say me Ranjan, Say me Please, Please?"
He saw me wildly. I raised my voice, "You know who
killed Surya and you very well know it. You also knew Sagarika will not be coming
here. Now say me Ranjan, Say me". He looked around; it seemed all were
looking at us. He said slowly, "Sis, calm down. Shall say you but not here
come with me." He started to walk, I followed him. We reached a calm
place, which I never saw before. Where the sunrise was amazing, Filmy style
scene it was. There was absolutely on one around. It was just we both in such
beautiful place, which had great greenery. Looking at that green beautiful
place, my questions and all went away from my mind. I was feeling very relaxed
sort. Might be since I gave out all questions in front of my brother, was
feeling relaxed. Whatever it was, I was feeling something happy from within.
My brother saw and started, "Sis, Your questions are
whether Surya was murder or not? If murder, who killed? Where is Sagarika?
right. I have answers for all your questions." I never asked, where is
Sagarika now. I just wanted to know what happened with Surya. Why was my
brother bringing Sagarika here? Am least bothered about her, he continued,
"Sis, that night we friends were together at golden ground. We were four
of them including him. That day, he was bit very much happy. He informed he was
in love with Sagarika, and she too accepted his love. He said he has exam the
next day, he wants to prepare for it. But we forced him for bike stunts. We
forced him to come with us for one hour. We were doing some bike stunts, he was
master in it. We were doing the stunts all of suddenly he slipped, it was just
one jerk. While he was performing the stopping, he fell such that the bike fell
on him. But it fell on one of his ears. He was not able to stand properly. He
was like almost unconscious. He was not bleeding. He just said us so much, I am
unable to respire properly. We called for ambulance immediately.
One of my friend said, he would inform his family members
and shall get them near the hospital itself. He would feel bit relieved with
pain, when he sees his family members. Other fellow also joined him and went
towards his house. I was with him until ambulance came. I was literally feeling
his pain. He was struggling. His eyes were filled with tears because of pain. I
was trying to comfort and console him. I tried as much as I can do. By then
ambulance came.
At hospital, they rushed him to emergency ward. As I said,
he was not bleeding, not even a drop of blood was out from his body. He was
looking all set fine. We all thought it’s just an injury, he would be alright.
Then after half an hour, we heard, he got internal brain hemorrhage, and he is
suffering from internal bleeding. We all were shocked to hear. From his family,
his younger brother and father had come to hospital. His brother went down. We
all were more scared, what happened with him. Nurse called doctor with bit
louder voice. Then doctor came out from the room. He said only few words,
"We are sorry, we couldn't help". Yaar, we all were like almost lost
at that moment. We couldn't control ourselves.
Saying so much, my brother was almost in tears in his eyes.
I went near him and put my hand on his shoulder. He too held my hands and said.
We shouldn't have forced him to come with us that day. He would have survived.
He said he wants to go to study, we forced him sis, forced him to come with us
and play bike stunts. We killed him. I am sorry for him. We feel guilty even
today.
I said, "Bro, its god's play calm down". Sometimes,
we have no other option than blaming on god, since we want our loved one to be
happy. We blame on god for all bad things. I said same now also though neither
he nor I believe in God. He became silent for a moment then continued; we
wanted to inform Sagarika about this news, since they were in love. So me and
my friends went to her house. We were welcomed by her parents. We said coolly
to her and her parents what happened and Surya is no more. As soon after hearing
to that words. Sagarika fell unconscious. Her mother got wild angry with us.
She yelled at us, "Aren't u aware she is heart patient, u say she is your
friend." We all rushed again to hospital with her. Doctor said, "She is
in coma". We were shattered very badly. We had no dareness to neither say
nor ask to her family members anything.
We all made sure to visit her everyday in hospital to find
her condition. One day we dare to talk with her mother, "Sorry aunty, we
really didn't had any idea about this". She said, "Its fine child, I
understand its not first time for us. We have seen and been to such situation
many a time before." We said, "What?" My friend asked,
"What actually is the problem with Sagarika?" Her mother said,
"She is suffering from heart hole, it’s from childhood". My brother
from singapore called me,
this time as soon as she recovers, we shall take her to singapore and get heart transplant
done". We just smiled and said, "Shall pray for god same".
After saying so much, my brother remained silent for a
while. I was like curious to know what happened with her. Slowly I said,
"Ranjan, what happened then to Sagarika? Is she fine now?" He smiled
at me and said, "She is all set fine Sis, It’s long back now, she had gone
to Singapore".
I was feeling bit relaxed after hearing all. I said, "Thank goodness, it’s
only so much".
He smiled and stood near the tree, trying to pluck some cute
flowers. He plucked it and started to sing same romantic song, which I was
hearing from me recently. I felt he was in love right, It’s right time to ask
him. I asked, "Ranjan, I have one more question". He said, "Yes,
Please madam, shall answer all your questions" I said, "Are you in
love? I once saw you chatting late night, were you chatting with any girl? Are
you in love Ranjan? Are you?" He started laughing loudly, took 2-3 steps
backward, nodding his head, turned towards me and said, "Its not Sagarika,
sis, Hope your doubt is cleared". He smiled at me and just went off.
His smile was so cute. And he got to know what was my
true question with all the questions I asked, I was very keen to, whether his
love was Sagarika or not, and he answered my question. Smart... Standing there,
I was able to look at the rising SUN, THE SURYA for all, who makes all smile in
morning, get angry for its hotness and feel for him for his evening showers. It’s
so true with Surya's life also. Sagarika and Surya, it’s something as if their
meaning of names matched with their life. Looking at rising sun, I stood there
alone in such wonderful place, which I ever seen before.
