It So Happened - Part-14

My mind started to imagine and figuring what would have happened. So it was this mad person behind all. I wanted to say this to all. I found who he is the killer of Surya. Yes, I found who the killer is. But mad person are not considered as murderer, So what we shouldn't allow such mad person to be out roaming like, today Surya tomorrow dont know who else would become the victim for this mad. As soon I went home. I blabbered to my mom everything in detail. She heard to all my sayings and then she laughed loud and said, "So you believe in whatever the mad person say? Are you crazy? Sanjana, it’s true that mad person need to be treated and he needs treatment, but we can’t put some allegations on him like that. He is already suffering; He won’t dare to do that. He is innocent, your friend Surya would have died by some other reason, and if he is murderer then it would be someone else. Understood, don’t bother all such things, my child, go and relax. And listen don’t think about the mad person again, If u see him in case by chance, just ignore him, ok.. ok.. say yes now..", I answered, "Yes mama, you don’t believe me, its fine." I was moving towards my room. My mother came near me, moved her hands on my head and said, "Sanjana, I believe you. If that mad person is the culprit. He would be seriously punished accordingly. Justice really does happen with all. Believe in God." She patted my back. I smiled at her, as if I am convinced with what she said.

In room, holding some text book I was thinking about same incident. I always feel there is some truth behind the mad person's words. It had proved also once in the book case, his words were true, thatz how I got to know that book was with him. Was the book really with him? Am I thinking in right direction? Who has proof that the book was with him? How do I prove that the book was returned by Surya itself and he took from this mad person. If I prove that then I can prove easily that mad person is the killer. Only one person whom I feel knows is Sagarika, then I have to seriously talk with Sagarika. Yes, she would be aware by now, who returned the book. She and Surya became friends through the book itself right. So, I need to talk with her, But yaar, I have never seen her in college from start of this semester. Where is she? How would I search? hmmm. Was thinking about that suddenly remembered about morning walk! Yes, she comes for walking for sure. One or other day, I can catch her there.

At same time my brother entered the room. I was so anxious to tell my brother that I found the killer. But bit was feeling he was so depressed with that incident doesn't want to push him to depression again. But if I say him this he would feel bit better. Moreover I want him to wake me up early morning for a walk. And I can meet Sagarika.

I started with low tone, "Ranjan, I have something to share with you." He said, "Did mother give you my share of cake to you, Now give my share properly, I don’t want to share with you. I like cake equally as much u like it, you are aware right it’s my favorite, give me full share of mine." I said, "Goodness Ranjan, always behind cake or anything eatables only. I have something great news to share with you." He replied, "Oh ok, tell me, whatz that great news". He made a whacky face. Even I made faces and said with broad smile on face, "I saw today the mad person, who had that library book, do you remember?" He replied, "Oh ok, fine I remember. So, what now? Was he holding another library book today? Uff that mad person, why is he behind library books". I stopped him there, "Hey hey..he wasn't having any book with him, I just wanted to say some truth which is lying with him". For that words, my brother laughed loudly and said, "Oh now you found, why he became mad, his history all hahahaha". I was getting angry my brother is not ready to hear my words properly. I said, "get lost, if you are not interested to hear what I want to say don’t hear then".

Looking me angry, he came near me and said, "Hey sis, was kidding, you took it seriously? now say, shall hear to your words properly, wont say a word more ok .. is it fine, say now" I turned towards him, began "It so happened, i was traveling back to home in bus, in the same bus the mad person was there. He was talking with conductor; he said he killed one college guy. And its Surya itself, I am damn sure its Surya. I shall prove it."

He stood went near the balcony door of our room and said, "Shut up sis, simply don’t blame on innocent, he is not, he can’t be the murderer." I said, "Ranjan, it is he only, Since Surya threatened and took book from him, he took revenge against Surya like this. He killed Surya." My brother shouted at me, bit louder, "Will you stop thinking all such nonsense, he is not the killer, moreover for your information, Surya didn't get the book from him. It was me, It was me, me. It’s me, who threatened him and returned book to library got it. Now stop blaming on innocent people." He said so much and went out again.

This words, made me to think more about what would have happened.

It So Happened - Part-13

Drastically I was feeling change in my brother. He seems to be very happy now days. He used to always hum some romantic songs, Always attached with his mobile, chatting or in call. He used not go out for play as usual not even watch TV nor sit and talk with my parents or with me. He rarely spent time for us. I felt he was in love with someone. But with whom, Am I guessing it correct? Is he in love?

I don’t know why, my suspicion went on Sagarika itself. If it’s Sagarika, how did they meet? Where is their usual meeting point now a days? If it was in college I would have seen one or other day, I feel it’s not in college for sure? Where else? I was thinking on that, my mom called by then I went and got engaged with other work. I forgot about Sagarika and brother thoughts.

When I entered my room back, the thoughts again rolled back in my mind. Sagarika... my brother... how? when? where? was almost getting headache. I turned towards the clock, it was 8:40 p.m. My brother is still not in home, where is he? Is he meeting his love now? I doubt its Sagarika. I thought I need to call him to his cell, then I thought I can’t simply question him like that. I was so anxious; I went near the door and was walking to and fro near the door.

My mother saw me walking near the door. She smiled and asked "What? Did your brother promised to bring you some gifts?” I answered her "Wish it was so, now I wonder I won’t get something which I was not expecting from him". So my mother replied, "Oh, you already asked something for him. even I thought to ask, anyhow he is going to Gandhi Bazaar, I too thought shall ask him to get some bed sheets and curtains, but his choice is always so poor that I didn't ask him, by the way what did you asked him to bring?". I said, "Oh, so he has gone to shopping? Great, as he said anything, with whom he is going?" My mother said, "You didn't know then? He hasn't gone for shopping, he has gone for theater show, in that old theater near Gandhi bazaar. And might be he went with his friends, thatz fine, why are you waiting for him like this, never ever you waited?" I said, "Nothing, simply just for change" and went towards my room.

So, my brother has gone for theater show? Is it with his girl friend? I was getting angry against him. But its not Sagarika yaar, she was Surya's girlfriend right? It’s not she. She can be also, now Surya is no more. My head was aching so badly.

I slept with such thoughts.

Early morning, I woke up late, by then my brother was back from morning walk. I wanted to question him, something stopped me. As usual I went to college attended the classes and was back to home by bus. In my bus, I heard someone talking with conductor bit louder, "You know who am I? I killed one person recently, do you know? How dare he was, he scolded and threatened me, so I murdered him, so pity with him, he was a college going, now youth aged person." He took the name of our college also. I felt, was the victim is Surya. I turned with jerk to see, who that person was. To my greatest surprise, that was one great personality, whom I was desperately searching to see. It was the mad person. Yes the same mad person, who was at traffic signal. He was talking with conductor. I was shocked. Oh goodness, the mad person was one who murdered Surya, He took the book from this mad person, by beating, threatening him. So, this mad person might have killed him. I was just staring at the mad person. He saw me staring at him. He too started to stare at me. He came near me, the seat next to me was empty, I was scared, and what if he sits near me and does anything to me.

I was so scared. I got up from there and stood near the driver, as if I will get down in next stop, in turn if the mad person had taken one more step towards me, I would have got down for sure. By then conductor saw that and he might have understood that I was scared, he called that mad person towards him and said, "Your stop is not this, come and sit here, I shall say you. You were saying something right, you killed someone, tell me how you killed, come brave hero, come here". The mad person moved towards conductor. I sat in another seat next to one lady, near driver.

Mad person with zeal in his tune said, "I dragged him in the road, his friends left him alone. I dragged and kicked with my only one leg. One shot he died, hahaha, it was just one shot he died, I killed him. His friends were running seeing me killing him. They were so scared of me. hahahahaha" Conductor said, "Wow, you are so strong, that you cant stand yourself, still you kicked him with one leg, he died, Wow, you are very strong man. Everyone needs to be scared of you; even am scared of you boss. How long have you been in this area, Boss?" Conductor was making fun of him. But I was visualizing the truth in those words.

It So Happened - Part-12

As days passed, I too forgot about Surya's death. And I never saw that beautiful girl Sagarika or that mad person too. My brother was behaving normal. We, our family members went for sridi sai baba temple also. It was great time traveling and visiting many other temples. I was happy in my own world.

It seemed as if everything was some bad dream which I had. I never knew, in short span of time people really do forget the past. There was nothing past related to my life. But what happened till now, I don’t remember rather none makes me to remember it.

As usual me, my studies, family, that was only my world. I was enjoying my life. Still those moments, whatever happened seems to be mystery. I never asked my brother on that. I don’t want him to go to depressed mood again. His smile makes us smile; I wanted him to be happy always. He was as usual cracking jokes, making my parents and me smile always.

One afternoon in college, after the class, I was the last to leave the classroom. I took stairs and was moving ahead. I felt someone behind me was walking along with me, I mean someone was behind me, wasn't aware was that person following me or not. But felt he was walking with same pace, with some distance. Try to turn behind and look, I was unable to look at the face, it wasn't one person, they were two. Talking to each other they were moving. It made me somewhat scary. I slow down a bit, in turn wanted that person to move in front of me, so that I feel comfortable. I simply get scared for no reason. It’s my childhood behavior.

As those two guys passed by me. I was relaxed. I thought I simply got scared again. While those two guys were walking I observed one guy, He seems as if I have seen him before. I was wearing white shirt. I looked at his shirt collar. Might be I wanted to look at him. But something caught by eye sight at his collar. It had fresh blood stains on his collar, that guy was not bleeding. Goodness yaar, Doesn't know, I felt more scared. I bent my head took other way to avoid going behind those guys.

That day, I started to remember about Surya. While traveling to home, I was thinking about him. Did anyone kill him? How did he die? It’s almost 6 months now. No news about it. What did police do? Did they ever investigate? All such questions was triggering in my mind. Bus stopped at the traffic jam at circle. Same circle, where I used to see the mad person. It’s been so many days, I haven't seen him.

I looked all possible directions in search of that mad person. He came and went. As if his part was just to take the book of Sagarika and create a scene. Huh! Sagarika, where is she now a days. Yes, I too have stopped going to walking also. I never saw her.

At home, I didn't want to bring my thoughts in front of my brother and disturb him too. I was enjoying the time with my family members. At night had dreams about Surya, Sagarika and other person, the white collar person. I felt I saw that white collar person killing Surya that too in front of Sagarika, Saw her crying helplessly in middle of road. I felt like crying. I woke up. As I woke up and switched the light on.

My brother asked "What happened sis? Are you ok? Did u dream any bad dreams?" I answered, "Yes, it was a dream, but bro, How come you are so alert in this mid night, as soon as I switched the light, you are questioning me? Aren't you asleep?”

My brother stammered, "I.. I was sleeping, but some how woke up at same time, might be coincidence." I smiled, "Hmmm possible! It’s coincidence, that coincidence shouldn't be so much that we both dreamt same. “We laughed a bit. But we both didn't laugh from heart. My brother said, "Fine sis, Drink water, take god's name and sleep". I wondered why was he not bothered what was the dream I dreamt. I suppose he asked me before when I got such dreams. Why not today? Neither I was interested to say him.

I switched off the light and went to sleep. My sleep was disturbed. Wasn't able to sleep properly, I turned towards the wall, and with open eyes was looking at the wall. After a while, I saw a light reflection on the wall. From where is this light coming from. I turned slowly to look; I saw my brother's cell phone was emitting this light. He was chatting with someone. But who was it? At this late night who is it that my brother is messaging? I felt I should ask my brother. Then I felt I shouldn't, if he had something to share with me, then my brother would have said me. I shouldn't be a hitler to my brother, I turned back, closed my eyes and went for sleep.

One of my favourite song.....Anjali Anjali Anjali...

Anjali Anjali Anjali... chinna kanmani kanmani kanmani...(Anjali, Anjali, Anjali... little apple of the eye... apple of the eye... apple of the eye...)

kanmani literally means eye ball.. in this context, the singer is personifying the little girl as his eye ball.. can be understood
as the apple of his eyes
Anjali Anjali Anjali... minnum minmini minmini minmini...(Anjali Anjali Anjali... sparkling firefly firefly firefly)

Ammamma.. pillai kani...(Oh my... young fruit...)
(I think the usage of fruit refers to Lord Muruga's fight for the fruit of wisdom which he lost to Lord Ganesha. When he was angry standing on a hill, Avvaiyar consoled him that his knowledge at such a young age, the skill of teaching his father the meaning of "OM", makes him a fruit of wisdom himself. She gives him the name "Pazham nee" meaning "Fruit is you"... which became Pazhani... and the mountain on which he stood angrily is called Pazhani thereafter... So the singer is equating this young child to a fruit... showing how divine the kid is... In her baby ways she has taught the community lot of lessons in compassion, love, and tolerance... so its definitely just to confer her the title "pillai kani" ... I may be wrong guys.. please contribute your suggestions/corrections)Angamthaan... thanga kani...(her body parts... are golden fruits... )

Ponmani chinna chinna, kanmani minna minna...(Little golden pearl... apple of the eye.. as you sparkle...)

Konjida konjida varum kanne nee...(you are a dear one .. coming to us to play with us...)
Punnagai sinthida varum ponne nee...(you are a golden one... spilling laughter from your lips..)
Muthamizh thanthidum siru poove nee...(you are a little flower that offers us all three divisions of Thamizh... )
Kanpadum Kanpadum intha pon meni(all the evil eyes will cast their spell on this poor little golden skin)

Aagayam boomiyellam Iraivan undaakki vaithu...(After making the earth and the sky....)
Aasaithaan theeramale... unnai thanthaan amma(God made you soon after.... unable to control his temptation (after creating the earth and the sky)..)
Kanne un mel megam thaan... panneer thoovi neerattum...
(Sweetie... the clouds will sprinkle rose water on you and bathe you...)
Thulli thaavum maankutty... solli solli thaalaattum...
(Little jumping deer will sing a lullaby to you)Nadakkum nadaiyil oru pallaaakku....
(When you walk you are a pallak, a carriage carried by men)
Sirikkum pozhuthu oru mathaappu...
(When you laugh you are a sparkler (a handheld firework))Unathu azhagukkenna? raajathi...
(Oh what about your beauty?! dear)
Ulagam nadanthu varum kai katti
(The whole world will come after you with folded hands... (meaning the whole world will bow its head on seeing your beauty))
Varamal vantha thevathai...
(You're an angel that never visited the earth before...)
Ulavum intha velli thaaragai
(you are a wandering silver girl)

Poopola kannalethaan pesum singaara meni...
(Like a flower... speak with your eyes..)
Annam pol.. nammodu thaan... aadu eppothume...
(Like a swan... dance with us always...)

Vaanam vaazhum angel thaan...
(An angel that lives in the skies...)
vanna pappa anjali thaan...
(Colorful Anjali... thats her!)
Amma nenjil oonjal thaan...
(Swinging on a joola in mother's heart...)
aadi pakkum anjali thaan...
(Little anjali will try to do it (swinging on a joola....))


Nadanthu nadanthu varum poochendu...
(A bouquet that comes walking)
paranthu paranthu varum ponvandu...
(a golden bee that comes flying...)
edukka edukka iru kai kondu...
(to take with both hands...)
inikka inikka oru karkandu...
((she is a ).. a tasty little sugar crystal)

Nilavai pola aadi va...
(Come dancing like the moon)
Nillamaal kooda neeyum odi vaa...
(you two come running with the moon without stopping...)


Reference:
http://kdmbri.blogspot.in/2011/03/anjali-anjali-anjali.html

It So Happened - Part -11

My mind was still thinking about Surya, The way he used to talk with all and me, He was such a humorous person. I liked to hear his jokes. Only one thing I didn't like was he talking with that beautiful girl. I wasn't jealous, I just didn't like it. Oh yeah, did that girl would have come to know about this news? she would have got to know, after all he was talking so close with her, as if they were good friends.

With my vacations, I forgot about Surya's death also. When I returned my college, New days again, was feeling as if the trees in college were blowing wind and swinging to welcome me. It was windy season, Cool breeze around college, because of so many trees, made all happy to be at college back. 

We friends were chit chatting, about the exam papers, vacations, where each of us had been, how we spent our time. One among them said, "Did you all get to know about Surya? He is no more now, heard it was murder case it seems". That shocked me again, "what? murder? Is that true? how did you get to know? Who killed him?" She responded, "Am not sure, heard the rumor, don’t have any other details about it. But yeah, have seen police coming to our college, today also had seen one talking something with our principal" None other talked on that topic.

My brother was his friend, he would have got the news, if it so. If its rumor also, he would have got that news, why didn't he discuss with me? Now a day, he never talks to me at all properly. I shall check with him today. Yeah if it’s a murder, who had so much enmity with Surya, he was easy going cool guy. He had no such grudges with any, as much I know; he had friendly relationship with all.

Evening stood in front of my brother and begun, "You knew there is a rumor that Surya's death was a murder, Now don’t say, you don't know, When I can come to hear that rumor, you also would have heard before me, since you guys were friends, Moreover, you know much more than that, Why don’t you share with me? now a days I feel, you are ignoring me, thatz fine, I just wanted know about Surya, is the rumor true? Was he murder?" My brother silence followed still after me asking so many questions. "I am asking you something, would you please mind to say some words?" He still kept silence. "I am enough with you bro? Why are you behaving like this, Please say something? Is that true? at least say is that true?". He opened, "Yes it’s true, he was murder, He was murder." he moved out of the room. He might have come back late night; I don’t know when he came. Morning also he went to walk early; he was supposed to be back to home by one hour of walk. He didn't return still, I was waiting at home. Then felt, why am I making this issue such a big, Surya is no where related to me. I shouldn't make myself tensed and moved with my other work.

Evening again, I got to talk with my brother, now a days, talking with own brother is difficult. As soon as he came to house, my mother called him for dinner. It was so late. "Wash your face and hands and come to have your dinner, I don’t know what you had taken from yesterday." Then I got to know, yesterday night, my brother didn't come to home. When he approached the dining table, even I came near him. His face had become so pale. I said, "Mom, Ranjan has become so weak, why mom you wont give him any food?, What Ranjan, are you dieting to impress any girl? tell tell, let me know, tell me secretly I shall keep secret." I giggled a bit. My brother was seriously silent. My mother looked at him and said, "Sanjana, keep quite don’t try to pull his legs, he is somewhat depressed from past many days. he is not taking food also now a days. He is eating something today that itself is great." I remained silent. I wasn't able to understand why was my brother so silent?

It So Happened - Part-10

Our externals exams in college started, i gave my 4 papers, it was ok ok sort, the fifth paper was horrible, everyone was feeling angry towards the question paper preparer, we had almost all questions out of syllabus question. Everyone was shattered, out of the examination hall, all were shouting, raising their words, talking to each other. I wasn't interested neither to hear nor to say any words, I just moved out of the examination hall, and went back to home, to prepare for my last paper.

While I was preparing for my examination, I glanced towards my brother, i felt he was crying, then I thought it might be my illusion. I kept my concentration towards my studies. Again i heard sounds of breath taking as if some one was crying, Is it my brother, I went out to the balcony of our house, it is small place attached to our room, where we usually stand to take fresh air in morning or evening time. He was standing there gazing at a tree, crying silently.

I was shocked, asked, "Hey bro? whatz the matter? What happened? why are you crying? Are you facing any problem in understanding the subject? Tell me, if so I shall help you?, Why are you crying tell me, I shall help you.." He was numb, silence around. I again said, "Is it love failure? Bro dont worry? heck with that girl who rejected you, Cool yaar, you would get the charm like that accident girl". I said such words to make him laugh a bit, Still he was silent.

Cool, didn't succeed in bringing him back his smile. Said, "cool atleast say me whatz the matter, I shall hear it, if you dont want me to interfere it, Just say me, I shall not share with any, I promise." He was still silent. I got angry, said, "cool charm, have to prepare for my paper, you keep crying, I dont understand why you dont wanna say me?".

I gave my last paper, was happy for completing our external exams. So next is vacation of around one month. I had great plans for this vacation. Was very much delighted, All outside the exam hall was gathered in groups and talking. Obviously they would be talking about the vacation plans; all would be delighted like me. I just want to know the joining date of next semester, went near the notice board to look for it. 

I was shocked to see what was on the notice board, the books in my hand fell down, seriously that news was so shocking that I wouldn't have been surprised even If I would have fell unconscious. So the news was condolence news. Condolence for a person's death.

The breakfast guy's photo was on the notice board, Above his photo they had written the Condolence for Surya's death yesterday. I took deep breath, I was feeling so so bad, something as if I felt like, I have to go near him, and slap and say wake up, how can you die? Wake up... my eyes filled with tears, I wouldn't control myself. I ran from there, I reached my house. I dont know, why am I crying for him, he is just my collegemate, he is not even my friend, but I was feeling very sad, as if I lost something in my life sort.

I was still crying in the room, my brother entered the room, he saw me and said, "so you got to know". What does that mean, he knew that earlier. I asked him, “Were you knowing earlier that Surya is no more? When did you come to know that? Why didn't you say me?". He said, "I knew yesterday it, you were preparing for exams, I knew after hearing that news you would go down, I didn't wanted to make you feel down. So didn't say you". My tears rolled, I was unable to control my feelings, but what feelings? I had no feelings towards him, still I don’t know, what was that made me to cry.

My brother left me alone for a while. When he entered the room again, I was calm down, Was playing games on my mobile. Seeing me relaxed, he was searching something inside his bag. "what is that you are searching?" He said, "nothing I had misplaced my specs, so was searching for it." "Oh fine, Can I ask one thing? How did you get to know the news of Surya's death? How did he died?" He kept silence for a minute, "I got a SMS, I don’t have any idea about what happened." He said so much and moved out of the room. 

It So Happened - Part-9

Another day at college in library, I was making notes, heard a blast of laughter’s, it was bit louder. When i turn around to look who are those, who doesn't have so much of sense also,  I saw the breakfast guy with that accident girl at the corner of the reading section. This time my concentration was on that breakfast guy, though that beautiful girl was their I was not admiring her. I was admiring breakfast guy, how he was talking, the way he used to make his hair style proper, As i said earlier, he makes each day one hair style. He was looking very handsome, somewhat different today. Or I was feeling that he was looking different today, since today I was giving more concentration on how he is looking. They didn't stop laughing it continued for longer. I was unable to concentrate on what I was reading; I was unable to sit there. I got up and went near book rack to get some other book and get out of the library.

By the time, I picked some book and came near the librarian, even those two came near librarian, breakfast guy smiled and said, "hey hi, howz ur studies going on? you leave, you would top this time." I just smiled for his words and said, "hi..", Doesn't know, I wanted to ask him, how does he know that girl? When did they meet? When that accident happened, they both were strangers to each other, today so close friends that they spent the time in library together? I was thinking to ask him, by then he turned towards her and was saying some other joke, or some thing which made her to giggle again. I wonder, I just wanted to go out of the library as soon as possible. 

But was that jealous? What I felt? No way, I have no such great feeling, I am not jealous on any? Walking out of library, I thought, oh, he was the one, who brought the book from that mad person; he is such a monster, he bet the mad person and brought the book. I was feeling somewhat anger with him.

Still wasn't sure, was he the one?

At home, I wanted to ask my brother does him aware who was that person who took the book back from mad person? In turn wanted to ask, was the breakfast guy is the one? Since these both were friends, they would have shared their great works of what they do to impress the girls. I tried, but I was unable to ask him at night. 

Early morning, before my brother woke up, I woke up and was making my mind; I need to ask him anyway. My brother woke up and started laughing, "Has the sun raised from west side today? You woke up early than me? whatz the matter sis?". I said, you come for a walk, I shall say you. As we were walking, I maintained utmost silence, my brother tried to make me smile, so he said, "whatz the matter sis? You are so desperate to see that beautiful girl? so you woke early in the morning? Sis, In INDIA such lesbian affairs are not encouraged?", I smiled for his try. I said, "No Bro, not for her?" hearing to that he said, "then??? For whom sis? I never knew.. Who is that??" I smiled again and said, "Nonsense, stop, its not related to anyone here. I just wanted to know, whether you know, who got the book from mad person?". He said, "How would I know, am I any sort of astrologer or any sadhu to tell?"

I said, "i just wanted to know, whether you have any idea?", he felt something fishy in my words, He asked, "Hey are you suspecting me?? or Do you suspect on someone, whom I know?". He always get context of my question, I said, "yeah, no.. am not sure, But i feel, that guy.." I explained whom I was suspecting. My brother started to laugh loudly, he said, "Why are you so bothered about her and that guy sis? From so many days, I feel you are just wasting your time thinking all such nonsense. Concentrate on your externals. Why should this thing bother you sis?"

After hearing his words, i was sure of one thing, i am no more getting the answer for my question.