Sounds not so good, The Aunty

Being younger in my family, I was pampered more, and for me I am the only sweetest charm in the world. It was something which I always felt, I am special in this earth, what was it? no answer... I argue within many times.. Still hearts says I am special, I am unique, I am great :D ... Heights of thought isn't it.

I always wanted all to treat me special, someone who needs care and affection and attention more than all . Wish all have to give me attention. If someone didn't give me attention, I was feeling so low....

With all such behavior of mine. Once in a play in school, I just departed away from my friends, since I was not getting any attention .. or i might have felt, they are not so friendly with me .. I am all alone... SO I departed.

This behavior of mine, still exists..how long, I dont know...

When I departed from my friends and was standing in the shade of a tree, watching my friends playing in playground, Heard a small girl voice...That really touched my heart..For the first time, I heard someone calling me "akka"(Sister)
I was seriously felt very happy and proud, I said yes.. She asked me to get some fruits from that tree, where I was standing I did for her, she was happy she wished me thank you akka...Again a "akka" word.. it thrilled me again.

I felt now, I am no more young, I have grown up, I am akka now for someone, I never realized it, Since I was youngest in my family.
Now, I have to behave like responsible person.. I really felt.
This incident happened when I was at the age of 11-12.

How far I took responsibility, nothing..I again came back to my same sort of rude behavior and arguments always, with feeling low attitude .

Then its now, around age of 27-28, it really hurts when someone calls me aunty.
They aren't intentionally calling me. My face appear so, its not their fault, I don't say them to correct their words, and call me akka or something.
I just nod my head, But it hurts..

As soon as I completed my BE just around 22-23 I was in search of job, in bus, I heard a college girl calling me aunty. Heck felt so bad, I am not..its just around 3-5 years of difference I have with that girl. Felt like why is she calling me like that.

Aunty....which once I used to call.. now, its my turn to hear it.

Today, I came out with this words, since one person came to our house, he seems to be collecting old clothes for old age people, I gave the clothes, But he addressed me 3-5 times aunty aunty aunty....god..
Yaar.. even he looks like around 26-27 year old guy...
God grace, when he said was shocked, but listen to his words, rather than saying any back words for that word..

I understand I look old now, Accept it... But what I felt is, that guy has forgotten his age, while in process of serving others.. Since he isn't looking at his age, rather looking the one in front of him and addressing as aunty....

Infact all would forget their age, and only look/consider what is the age of the person whom we are addressing. And they call appropriately with that.
I might be aunty for 10-11 year old child, not for 26-27 / 20-21 year old person.

Its just my thought.

Whatever, The Aunty word..really sounds not so good....

Time passes... we do accept all sorts of changes with it... whether we are eligible or not, we get to hear and listen such beautiful words addressing us :D
......

She, the Flower

Eyes sparkling like that of hind.

Color, structure which she wears.

They are born to please the blessed,

A flower fills once life with sparkling light and pleasure,

The beauty and calmness, makes the rock also to melt.

Sparkling, bringing smile and rejoice in everyone's face,

Many around praying to hold their chosen flower,

Ornaments of pearl wore by her, formed by due drops,

Compliments her beauty, with smile on her face.

All flowers are not lucky to fill pleasure

Many might not get to any where,

Charms just dries up without a spell of word.

Flower blossoms bright and rich, portraying its power,

Delicate, innocent she, the Flower...

Feeling low, though all kept me in high position

Friday evening we had a meeting held in our office by our team members.
The leads decided to give best performer award for chosen one.

Name for the award was decided earlier.. they asked all to give their creative idea for naming the award, so one gave it name "SIRIUS" brightest star name,
So its Sirius award...

Now leads were to decide the awardee, they chose three among them.
One of that was me, I haven't done any such work, still my name was taken, just because, my lead wanted some name from his team, he took my name and it clicked.

Such an embarrassing situation, would be when you are suppose to accept or be in such a situation, where you are not eligible to be so...

For a moment, I felt like run away from the place, else run away saying you are not feeling well, something which I felt, was exhausted, feeling head ache, how would I stand in front of all, when they announce my name, all would look at me, Some stating its unfair, some stating its not true....

Cant hear such words... I never asked it.
I do stand with truth, I do wish the deserved one to get that award.
I was feeling low, though all kept me in high position.
It seemed like as if the coronation of bad king, where everybody knew its unfair, Still they keep quite because its decision of the higher authority.

Standing in front of all, I might accept this award, will it keep my inner heart calm???
It wakes me always and says aloud.. "look you dont deserve it... look you dont deserve it..., One day it comes out and shows your true face... don't put mask on your face...."

Though coronation has been done to bad king, he would take up the king position, and have to lead the territory, if he fails.. therez no value in accepting the kingship... The bad king heart would also shiver... he would have also felt.. the decision was unfair, His hands would have also shivered when he received the sword while in coronation ceremony......

It really hurts to take/accept something which you wont deserve it, Still we are forced to accept it, since I have to give respect for my seniors decisions.