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Sounds not so good, The Aunty

Being younger in my family, I was pampered more, and for me I am the only sweetest charm in the world. It was something which I always felt, I am special in this earth, what was it? no answer... I argue within many times.. Still hearts says I am special, I am unique, I am great :D ... Heights of thought isn't it.

I always wanted all to treat me special, someone who needs care and affection and attention more than all . Wish all have to give me attention. If someone didn't give me attention, I was feeling so low....

With all such behavior of mine. Once in a play in school, I just departed away from my friends, since I was not getting any attention .. or i might have felt, they are not so friendly with me .. I am all alone... SO I departed.

This behavior of mine, still exists..how long, I dont know...

When I departed from my friends and was standing in the shade of a tree, watching my friends playing in playground, Heard a small girl voice...That really touched my heart..For the first time, I heard someone calling me "akka"(Sister)
I was seriously felt very happy and proud, I said yes.. She asked me to get some fruits from that tree, where I was standing I did for her, she was happy she wished me thank you akka...Again a "akka" word.. it thrilled me again.

I felt now, I am no more young, I have grown up, I am akka now for someone, I never realized it, Since I was youngest in my family.
Now, I have to behave like responsible person.. I really felt.
This incident happened when I was at the age of 11-12.

How far I took responsibility, nothing..I again came back to my same sort of rude behavior and arguments always, with feeling low attitude .

Then its now, around age of 27-28, it really hurts when someone calls me aunty.
They aren't intentionally calling me. My face appear so, its not their fault, I don't say them to correct their words, and call me akka or something.
I just nod my head, But it hurts..

As soon as I completed my BE just around 22-23 I was in search of job, in bus, I heard a college girl calling me aunty. Heck felt so bad, I am not..its just around 3-5 years of difference I have with that girl. Felt like why is she calling me like that.

Aunty....which once I used to call.. now, its my turn to hear it.

Today, I came out with this words, since one person came to our house, he seems to be collecting old clothes for old age people, I gave the clothes, But he addressed me 3-5 times aunty aunty aunty....god..
Yaar.. even he looks like around 26-27 year old guy...
God grace, when he said was shocked, but listen to his words, rather than saying any back words for that word..

I understand I look old now, Accept it... But what I felt is, that guy has forgotten his age, while in process of serving others.. Since he isn't looking at his age, rather looking the one in front of him and addressing as aunty....

Infact all would forget their age, and only look/consider what is the age of the person whom we are addressing. And they call appropriately with that.
I might be aunty for 10-11 year old child, not for 26-27 / 20-21 year old person.

Its just my thought.

Whatever, The Aunty word..really sounds not so good....

Time passes... we do accept all sorts of changes with it... whether we are eligible or not, we get to hear and listen such beautiful words addressing us :D
......

She, the Flower

Eyes sparkling like that of hind.

Color, structure which she wears.

They are born to please the blessed,

A flower fills once life with sparkling light and pleasure,

The beauty and calmness, makes the rock also to melt.

Sparkling, bringing smile and rejoice in everyone's face,

Many around praying to hold their chosen flower,

Ornaments of pearl wore by her, formed by due drops,

Compliments her beauty, with smile on her face.

All flowers are not lucky to fill pleasure

Many might not get to any where,

Charms just dries up without a spell of word.

Flower blossoms bright and rich, portraying its power,

Delicate, innocent she, the Flower...

Feeling low, though all kept me in high position

Friday evening we had a meeting held in our office by our team members.
The leads decided to give best performer award for chosen one.

Name for the award was decided earlier.. they asked all to give their creative idea for naming the award, so one gave it name "SIRIUS" brightest star name,
So its Sirius award...

Now leads were to decide the awardee, they chose three among them.
One of that was me, I haven't done any such work, still my name was taken, just because, my lead wanted some name from his team, he took my name and it clicked.

Such an embarrassing situation, would be when you are suppose to accept or be in such a situation, where you are not eligible to be so...

For a moment, I felt like run away from the place, else run away saying you are not feeling well, something which I felt, was exhausted, feeling head ache, how would I stand in front of all, when they announce my name, all would look at me, Some stating its unfair, some stating its not true....

Cant hear such words... I never asked it.
I do stand with truth, I do wish the deserved one to get that award.
I was feeling low, though all kept me in high position.
It seemed like as if the coronation of bad king, where everybody knew its unfair, Still they keep quite because its decision of the higher authority.

Standing in front of all, I might accept this award, will it keep my inner heart calm???
It wakes me always and says aloud.. "look you dont deserve it... look you dont deserve it..., One day it comes out and shows your true face... don't put mask on your face...."

Though coronation has been done to bad king, he would take up the king position, and have to lead the territory, if he fails.. therez no value in accepting the kingship... The bad king heart would also shiver... he would have also felt.. the decision was unfair, His hands would have also shivered when he received the sword while in coronation ceremony......

It really hurts to take/accept something which you wont deserve it, Still we are forced to accept it, since I have to give respect for my seniors decisions.

Damn they are chamelions

Sweet sweet words of theirs,

Touches the fragile hearts,

Damn they are chameleons.

Portraits themselves to be The Hercules/Angels,

Bold and broad mind in all senses,

They keep steps of fishes,

Mesmerizing all in few seconds,

Sweet sweet words of theirs,

Touches the fragile hearts,

Damn they are chameleons.

Round round eyes, cool cool views,

Changing their thoughts and words,

Good and bad are framed in their stories,

Changing the world, calling its miracles,

Sweet sweet words of theirs,

Touches the fragile hearts,

Damn they are chameleons.
Not chameleons, they are chamelions, Lions with  attitude of chameleons.

Chankya's Quote on the most Effective Powers on earth

Chankya has said many such quotations. One of them is the effective powers on earth, I always think Chankya was so true.. he was so very true.

Shall narrate the quote at last, you would get when I say the incident below.

I was good in athletic at my younger days. I was enjoying running race especially, and as days past i left participating, stopped running, stopped and restricted myself from all such physical activities. It was when a new physical trainer came to our school, I was all cool, as I don't think about anyone as such. Cool with everyone's behavior.

It once happened, on sports day events, running race was conducted, everyone knew, that one friend of mine was first, she was the fastest runner, and me the second, I loved to be the second winner. Many times I prayed just to be second... I wanted the second prize.. thatz it... Somehow that second place or 2 number I loved like anything.
Yeah that running race, it was conducted, We were in age group of around 10-11. We never knew about the rules of running, atleast I never knew.

He conducted in spiral ring, where we need to run. all of us were standing in same line and started to run. The smaller/nearest ring in spiral was given to sweetest cute girl. she was damn lovely. Myself and the fastest runner were at the last rings of the spiral.

I wanted to state again, we never knew rules, and we were standing in a line, unlike as per rules, each need to stand according to ring of spiral with distance in between us also.

The race began with get, set and gooo.. we ran, I tried so much, so very much, I am lean girl, tried my best to reach the destination, I failed, I failed, I failed.

The fastest runner she as usual got the first prize, the second prize was given to that sweet cute lovely girl, who was in near-most ring.
All were happy, smiling.... I was bit depressed, bit down.
All were smiling, very happy for that girl.. I just went behind all, stood and kept quite saying shit I couldn't make it.
Then heard a voice from the PT master, our new physical instructor, saying to the second prize winner, sweet lovely girl.
"I made you to win.. I made you to win... Now you are happy..., patting her back, he was making her more happy..."

When I heard that words, it just touched my heart.. and was thinking, How did he made her to win, the girl who used to be the last, is now the second prize winner, she took my place, but how??? how?? how???
I tried so much... I made all my best to run..still she won and I lost.. how????

That question was popping out many times... It was then I realized, we never took that race as per rules, the inner ring of spiral is shortest, so she would do it and win the race. where as mine was bigger one..
Though the fastest girl's ring was bigger than me, she would do it.
She did it, she took her place, whatever cheating did the master do...
it was no matter for her, she was strong enough to beat in the race.

After knowing the truth....
I smiled, I smiled, I smiled...
not because, the way I lost,
not because, I need to be positive in life,
not because I am happy for that girl.

Believe me... we were just just at age group of 10-11... I guess its very small age.
I realized Chankya was true... His quotes were true... it was so very true...
and the quote was....
" The Most Effective Three Powers on the earth is:
First - The Beauty
Second - The Money
Third - The Complete Knowledge/Physical Power/Strength/"

And I saw how the beauty, and the physical strength won the race.

I had none of the powers I lost, I lost, I lost. So I smiled.
Thatz was just a running race, a true incident in my life...

Many such incidence appeared in my life ever since then appearing still.. Whenever I faced such incident, I visualized, who would be the winners of the game of life.
I knew the quote of Chankya and now I can predict the future :D  based on this.
I smile always....

I still dont have none of that three powers. Only one I can achieve is the last power. The day I achieve, I shall win over all the challenges in my LIFE.
That would be my happiest day of my life. I can say aloud..I did it.

Infact, Chankya's quote is applied everywhere, I smile always.....
Chankya was great, His quotes were true...SO VERY TRUE .....amen.

Dilemma

Conjuring acts, nourishing mind and heart,
Mind's wishes to reach the ultimate destination,
Heart's wishes to grab all possible pleasures,
Hand stretching to help heart,
Leg running to help mind,
Its the game between mind and heart,
In the form of pleasure and treasure,
Having both hand in hand, makes life clumsy,
Either way one would be branded as a self centered or coward.