Missing Her.....

From day one, was attached with her,
Wish that attachment to stay forever.
She was helpless and left me alone,
Shall never ever accept she is gone.

Even god dare not to oppose the nature,
Never attempt to stop and help her to nurture.
Each day, made sure to keep contact with her eyes,
As I knew, she was nearing to her end days.

She left amid in the way of life,
Which I took as great strife.
Moved all the way with my intuition,
Never realized, it's mere hallucination.

The Decision - Part 1

Having my evening tea was looking at the magazine, when my husband said, "We would be moving to north india very soon, in other two weeks or a month. We would be confirmed which place, in two days". I was silent hearing to his words. He looked at me and asked, "What are you thinking? Any problem to travel with me? This would be for long term also". A shocking, non-expressible sort of mood was mine. I said, "hmmm Okay" and went inside the room. He came and stood near the door. I would be getting promotion too if we go to north india, if you are not interested, then it's fine, I shall cancel the transfer as well the promotion". Bit of disappointment was in his voice. I said, "Hey nothing as such, You don't have to cancel it. Since I am only child for my parents and I am born and brought from here, its feeling bit uncomfortable to accept that I would live in north india for long time, but I can manage though I know butler hindi you know". My husband smiled, "You don't have to worry, we would be in colony right, you would get to meet with people from south there also". I said, "Oh really! Thank god, I would get someone for a company, I was thinking how would I stay with you, who don't even like shopping at all". He smiled and moved towards the garden.

We are newly married, it was an arrange marriage. So we usually have some gap of communication. We hesitate to talk with each other. We need time to get along with each other. I was folding the clothes, was remembering my childhood days, teenage college days, it was so fun. I remember how we used to bunk school, when we were in 8th and 9th, not to go for movie or shopping. But for going to orphanage, we three were enjoying going to orphanages and playing with kids. In fact I still don't like shopping, I simply said to my hubby to bring a smile on his face.

Remembering my friends, my close friends those were my school friends, ever lasting love between us. It's been long time meeting them, they even didn't make it for my marriage. I am not sure whether my father invited them or not. I was expecting them. My husband was watching match on TV. I went and sat next to him with popcorn in hands. Offered him popcorn and started, "Can I go for a week to varangal(my native place, where my school days were spent) for a week, Before leaving south india, I just want to see my friends, they didn't make it for my marriage also". He smiled again. He looks really cute smiling, I like that. He said, "So you are thinking the ways to go away from me? why, you don't like me?". I was shocked with that statement, "I never meant it, I just wanted to visit and talk with my childhood friend, If you are taking me wrong, I won't go, shall be with you". He smiled again, "Uff, has anyone said you before that your smile is cute, you always keep smiling for no reason". He answered, "Yes, My girl friend has said me many times". I said in bigger tune, "what? your girl friend? Are you still in contact with her? How long were you friends?" Anger was bit bursting out of my face.

He smiled again. Now his smile was no more cute for me. He said, "We will always be bound in friendship, it's not yet broken in between us. Am not in contact with her. In-fact I don't know where she is". Hearing this words, my heart was feeling bit jealously sort. I said, "will you try to meet her again?". He said, "Obviously yes, She was one of my best, the best friend". My anger raised, "How many more beeeest friends do you have?" I asked it stretching my words. He got to know, my temper was raising. He changed the topic, "cool charm, whatever you are thinking is absolutely wrong. By the way, you want to go for a week to your parent's place right, You can go and enjoy your one week, After that you are all mine, I won't give you a chance to leave me again." With that his face brighten looking at me. Somehow these words truly diverted the topic and I felt I am more bounded to him, No one in the world can break us apart. I too smiled, said thanks and moved near him. He too approached as if we would kiss each other, by then I just took the empty coffee cup from his side and moved towards kitchen. I heard his murmuring voice saying, "uff..."

Next day, Early morning itself, I started packing my clothes to go for native, I was quite happy mood, singing around. After shower, my husband pulled me from back, with his hands on my waist and hugging asked me, "won't you miss me, you seem to be so happy to go away from me." I turned towards him, kissed on his shoulder and said, "Shall miss you more, every second my heart would take only your name. You also come with me, we both would go together and come back." He cuddling me said, "So, its your plan to make the north india relocation to cancel.", I was shocked to hear this, "what? where is the plan? Why would I do that?" He smiled and moved towards the cupboard to take his shirt and said, "You know that if you call me, I shall come anywhere with you, and now, I need to be here to get my promotion and relocation confirmed and you are calling me to come with you for a week?" I too said, "Oh really! this is over huh, as if you would come with me, I just said for namesake, I very well know, you won't come". He said, "Huh! you never feel me yeah" and moved towards the hall.

I too packed my things and moved towards the kitchen to get the breakfast ready. I called him for breakfast and moved towards the dinning table. He was was already seated ready to have breakfast. I was serving him. He saw my face and said, "For another one week, I won't be having good home food." I said, "haan haan... now at least you accepted that I cook good." He smiled, "I accepted everything of you. Hey you feed me today with your hands, no spoon please." I was feeling shy sort, I nodded my head and approached to feed him, He was having it, he bite my fingers. I said, "Ouch!" He said, now breakfast is very tasty. Wish this moment never ever end. I said, "Cool dude, You have another two more spoons, it would end. We need to eat fast and make a move else I would miss my train."

He said, "Cool, you are very eager to go away from me right?..." He had breakfast and moved from dinning hall. I was just looking at him. He turned and said, If your breakfast is done. Come, I shall drop you to the railway station. I would be out in car". I felt, I made him angry, But I didn't meant it. I went out, sat in his car held his hands and said, "I shall miss you a lot, more than a lot. It's just one week, I am only yours, I shall always be with you. Shall be back and get myself stick with you." He smiled and said, "Then it would be problem, I can't kiss you properly" I blushed and bend my face in shy. He held my chin up, kissed me and said, "I shall wait for you charm".

Dark Thoughts

In the dark night, alone under the tree,
Gazing at the sky, waiting for a silver line,
While mind, heart was floating free,
And dreams ended, without any sign.

Could feel the cool cold breeze,
Shivering, grasped myself tight to overcome it,
Solitude brought tears, which rolled from eyes,
Weaken mind was destroyed and will power covered it.

Shining moon appeared to shower its smile,
One, two stars started to show up in the dark sky,
Still long time for the sun to appear and shine,
Surrounded by dark, was still searching my eye.

For the unknown, unseen happiness, which sparkles bright,
Which hasn't appeared nor felt any day,
Hope for it to appear on my last night,
Barely breathing, held it for few more minutes, as I feel I may.

It So Happened - Part15 - Final

After saying me that he was the one who took book from mad person and he was the same who returned book back to library, my brother left from my room, I thought he just went to hall, he might be watching TV. But he went out of house itself. Was he depressed again? But I was completely in shock to hear that words so didn't bother to think anything about whatz my brother's reaction.

After few minutes, might be almost after one hour, I went down to hall, to talk with my brother. He was not at hall, my parents were watching TV. I asked, "where is Ranjan?" my mom said, "I called him, he didn't respond for me, he moved out, might be he went to his friend's house." I said, "Oh ok..." Silence was filled in my words now, as my mind was thinking so much. I too sat with my parents as if I was watching TV. But looking at TV, I was just thinking something which I can’t describe. Was totally confused, who, what, why? all unanswered questions in my mind. I was waiting for my brother, watching TV, I wasn't watching just looking at it.

I was waiting in hall, I never knew when my eyes closed, I slept there on sofa, my mom had put blanket on me. I wrapped myself with blanket and slept at sofa itself. Early morning, my mother came with coffee in her hand. She woke me and asked, "why did u sleep here yesterday?" I answered, "I was watching TV, never knew when I fell asleep, Its fine, Where is Ranjan? is he in room?" My mother was moving back to kitchen, she said, "Oh he hasn't come yesterday to home back, he might have slept at his friend's home itself". Hearing that I was feeling somewhat more disturbed.

I want to talk with my brother; there were many questions in myself, which is bugging me. I became silent and went back to room. Again at room I was sleeping. My mom came and said, "aren't u going to college? What happened are you ok? Are you feeling well? Any problem charm?" She moved her hands on my forehead. Unable to answer or say anything to her, I said, "nothing mom, am all set ok, shall get ready and go right now" I smiled at her, to make her feel all is ok.

She is my mother, she knew something was disturbing me, I wasn't normal. She found in my one statement, she said, "Cool charm, get fresh, you would get answers for all, for all, just give time for time". I smiled again for her words. I went to college, still mind was wandering some sets of questions, which I feel only my brother can answer. While I was taking stares, I remembered Sagarika. Yes, she can also help me to get answers for my questions. I stood near her class, without attending my class. I stood and waited but she wasn't in class. I was bit sad, though I missed my class and stood here, it went in vain.

Still I got one way to get to my answers, Sagarika, yes, she is only one other than my brother who can answer me. I dont want to ask my brother, so she is only one left. I went home. My brother came very late in night, My mother was bit scolding him. He kept quite. Silence at our room also. I was silent, even he was silent. We both didn't talk with each other. We remained silent.

Again early morning I went to college and stood near Sagarika's class. She didn't come to college today also. I was almost becoming mad with my inner raising questions and thoughts.

At home silence was still in between me and my brother. My mother recognised something wrong between me and my brother. She came to our room. We were sitting at opposite corner of room, holding book and with complete silence in the room. She said aloud, "Whatz wrong with you both? why are you behaving like enemies? did u both had a fight? Say me, I shall resolve your both problems? now say me Sanjana, whatz wrong charm? say me..", she focused at me, " I smiled and said, "nothing as such mom, we are cool, no misunderstanding, no fights, Its just my head is aching from one week, So have stopped talking thatz it". She got to know, that was just an excuse, She moved towards my brother and said, "Well you say Ranjan, whatz going between you and your sister?" He looked at me and then at my mom, and started.

For a moment, I felt I shall get answers for my questions now. "I really dont know mom, I returned book, taking from that mad person, Sis came to know about that now. Might be she is angry with me, that I hide that from her till now, so she is not talking with me." As soon as he said, I screamed, "I am not angry with any?" My mom laughed and said, "Sanjana, its nothing wrong, he didn't intentionally hide from you. It just he felt its not big thing to share with you". I said, "I am not asking anyone to give any reason". She said, "Sanjana, your words clearly says you are in anger mood. Calm down charm, Forgive your brother, he his younger to you right, forgive him, Now smile at each other, I shall take you both for painting exhibition, get ready and come with me, you both will feel better with each other, get ready". I turned towards my brother, he was smiling, I too smiled.

Looking we both smiling, she just moved out smiling and saying, "Now settle among yourself, I dont want my kids to break up with each other" I smiled at my brother, I still was having questions for him, does he know, who killed Surya? I proceeded towards him,

asked sorry, and was casually talking with him. I felt, its not right time to talk with him. Let me ask Sagarika first, If I dont get answer from her, than shall talk with my brother.

Many days spent like this, everyday I used to go to college stand near Sagarika's class, she wasn't there. Always I was disappointed. I couldn't control my disappointments. I asked one of her classmate, "Is Sagarika, not coming to college, Where is she?" They answered, "She is not coming to college. We heard she won’t be coming to college". I was again shocked, I said bit louder, "what?" They all looked at me. I put my head down and said, "Oh ok, thanks" and moved from there.

I was walking back to bus stand, past almost 2 weeks. I was not attending my class properly. I went back home. Now I have only one way to get answers, thatz my brother, I was preparing myself to ask my brother, was framing questions, so that he doesn't know what I am asking, and I get the answers also. I heard my brother came to home; he was talking with my mother. He seemed as if he was happy. Again he was singing same romantic song. He put that song from his mobile loudly, He was very happy. I suspected hearing that romantic song itself. That he might be in love with someone? Yes, I did suspect its Sagarika itself. Now I feel, chances of being Sagarika more, Since he was the one who returned the book to library, He helped Sagarika. My suspection towards my brother's love again raised up. But today, I heard from her friends she is not coming to college. Then how is it Sagarika? How?

Something triggered in my mind, Morning walk! She will be coming there, My brother might be meeting her there? If what I am thinking is right, I feel, my brother killed Surya, Shit yaar, How can I think like this, with my own brother. What am I thinking, I banged on my head and went down to hall near my brother and said, "Ranjan.." He said, "Yup Sis? what can I do for you?". I saw his eyes and said, "Nothing.." He saw I was confused to ask him something. He said, "did u see that mad person again? Now I said all truth for u, there is nothing hidden from you" I am not involved in anything related with your questions, sis. I am damn sure about that. He gave a broad smile to me. I smiled, "Yes, its true bro". After a while, I called him again, "Ranjan, Will u take me to morning walk tomorrow?" He raised his eyebrow and said, "Why? what happened sis?". I said, "nothing just wanted to come for a walk" He said, "ok" and went into room whistling.

Early morning, while walking with my brother, I maintained silence with him, since I was disturbed. My brother cracked some joke, I smiled bit and kept silence again. He saw me silent and was trying to crack as many jokes which he can do for that moment. When we entered the park, my eyes was gazing at the place where Sagarika used to be. I said my brother, you go a round and come, I shall sit here for a moment, shall join you soon. He smiled and went. I was sitting near the place where Sagarika used to do exercise?

Sitting on the bench in the park, was waiting for her. Waiting, was thinking many things, what actually would have happened? one the mad person killed, else my brother, no no… its not my brother, then its the mad person itself. But how could my brother say so surely that its not mad person. He was angry at that time; he was confirmed and confident with his words. Then who else? My brother knows that for sure. Now I want to know about it thatz it. Thinking that was bit tensed and looking forward for Sagarika to come.

My brother came instead of Sagarika. I said, "So early u came back?" and looked whether Sagarika came. He said, "Sis whatz the matter? you seems tensed? your mind seems asking many question. Whatz the matter?" I said, "Nothing bro, nothing.." and took a deep breath as if I was disappointed again waiting for Sagarika. She didn't turn up. Watching me, looking for someone, my brother guessed "Oh you are searching for Sagarika? She won’t be coming. That I can confirm to you" It was just a guess from my brother. With disappointment, anxious to know the answer, my temper raised and I said loudly, "You know everything Ranjan. Say me Ranjan, I am fed up thinking about it, I don’t want to think. But I am unable to concentrate on anything, Say me Ranjan, Say me Please, Please?"

He saw me wildly. I raised my voice, "You know who killed Surya and you very well know it. You also knew Sagarika will not be coming here. Now say me Ranjan, Say me". He looked around; it seemed all were looking at us. He said slowly, "Sis, calm down. Shall say you but not here come with me." He started to walk, I followed him. We reached a calm place, which I never saw before. Where the sunrise was amazing, Filmy style scene it was. There was absolutely on one around. It was just we both in such beautiful place, which had great greenery. Looking at that green beautiful place, my questions and all went away from my mind. I was feeling very relaxed sort. Might be since I gave out all questions in front of my brother, was feeling relaxed. Whatever it was, I was feeling something happy from within.

My brother saw and started, "Sis, Your questions are whether Surya was murder or not? If murder, who killed? Where is Sagarika? right. I have answers for all your questions." I never asked, where is Sagarika now. I just wanted to know what happened with Surya. Why was my brother bringing Sagarika here? Am least bothered about her, he continued, "Sis, that night we friends were together at golden ground. We were four of them including him. That day, he was bit very much happy. He informed he was in love with Sagarika, and she too accepted his love. He said he has exam the next day, he wants to prepare for it. But we forced him for bike stunts. We forced him to come with us for one hour. We were doing some bike stunts, he was master in it. We were doing the stunts all of suddenly he slipped, it was just one jerk. While he was performing the stopping, he fell such that the bike fell on him. But it fell on one of his ears. He was not able to stand properly. He was like almost unconscious. He was not bleeding. He just said us so much, I am unable to respire properly. We called for ambulance immediately.

One of my friend said, he would inform his family members and shall get them near the hospital itself. He would feel bit relieved with pain, when he sees his family members. Other fellow also joined him and went towards his house. I was with him until ambulance came. I was literally feeling his pain. He was struggling. His eyes were filled with tears because of pain. I was trying to comfort and console him. I tried as much as I can do. By then ambulance came.

At hospital, they rushed him to emergency ward. As I said, he was not bleeding, not even a drop of blood was out from his body. He was looking all set fine. We all thought it’s just an injury, he would be alright. Then after half an hour, we heard, he got internal brain hemorrhage, and he is suffering from internal bleeding. We all were shocked to hear. From his family, his younger brother and father had come to hospital. His brother went down. We all were more scared, what happened with him. Nurse called doctor with bit louder voice. Then doctor came out from the room. He said only few words, "We are sorry, we couldn't help". Yaar, we all were like almost lost at that moment. We couldn't control ourselves.

Saying so much, my brother was almost in tears in his eyes. I went near him and put my hand on his shoulder. He too held my hands and said. We shouldn't have forced him to come with us that day. He would have survived. He said he wants to go to study, we forced him sis, forced him to come with us and play bike stunts. We killed him. I am sorry for him. We feel guilty even today.

I said, "Bro, its god's play calm down". Sometimes, we have no other option than blaming on god, since we want our loved one to be happy. We blame on god for all bad things. I said same now also though neither he nor I believe in God. He became silent for a moment then continued; we wanted to inform Sagarika about this news, since they were in love. So me and my friends went to her house. We were welcomed by her parents. We said coolly to her and her parents what happened and Surya is no more. As soon after hearing to that words. Sagarika fell unconscious. Her mother got wild angry with us. She yelled at us, "Aren't u aware she is heart patient, u say she is your friend." We all rushed again to hospital with her. Doctor said, "She is in coma". We were shattered very badly. We had no dareness to neither say nor ask to her family members anything.

We all made sure to visit her everyday in hospital to find her condition. One day we dare to talk with her mother, "Sorry aunty, we really didn't had any idea about this". She said, "Its fine child, I understand its not first time for us. We have seen and been to such situation many a time before." We said, "What?" My friend asked, "What actually is the problem with Sagarika?" Her mother said, "She is suffering from heart hole, it’s from childhood". My brother from singapore called me, this time as soon as she recovers, we shall take her to singapore and get heart transplant done". We just smiled and said, "Shall pray for god same".

After saying so much, my brother remained silent for a while. I was like curious to know what happened with her. Slowly I said, "Ranjan, what happened then to Sagarika? Is she fine now?" He smiled at me and said, "She is all set fine Sis, It’s long back now, she had gone to Singapore". I was feeling bit relaxed after hearing all. I said, "Thank goodness, it’s only so much".

He smiled and stood near the tree, trying to pluck some cute flowers. He plucked it and started to sing same romantic song, which I was hearing from me recently. I felt he was in love right, It’s right time to ask him. I asked, "Ranjan, I have one more question". He said, "Yes, Please madam, shall answer all your questions" I said, "Are you in love? I once saw you chatting late night, were you chatting with any girl? Are you in love Ranjan? Are you?" He started laughing loudly, took 2-3 steps backward, nodding his head, turned towards me and said, "Its not Sagarika, sis, Hope your doubt is cleared". He smiled at me and just went off.

His smile was so cute. And he got to know what was my true question with all the questions I asked, I was very keen to, whether his love was Sagarika or not, and he answered my question. Smart... Standing there, I was able to look at the rising SUN, THE SURYA for all, who makes all smile in morning, get angry for its hotness and feel for him for his evening showers. It’s so true with Surya's life also. Sagarika and Surya, it’s something as if their meaning of names matched with their life. Looking at rising sun, I stood there alone in such wonderful place, which I ever seen before.

It So Happened - Part-14

My mind started to imagine and figuring what would have happened. So it was this mad person behind all. I wanted to say this to all. I found who he is the killer of Surya. Yes, I found who the killer is. But mad person are not considered as murderer, So what we shouldn't allow such mad person to be out roaming like, today Surya tomorrow dont know who else would become the victim for this mad. As soon I went home. I blabbered to my mom everything in detail. She heard to all my sayings and then she laughed loud and said, "So you believe in whatever the mad person say? Are you crazy? Sanjana, it’s true that mad person need to be treated and he needs treatment, but we can’t put some allegations on him like that. He is already suffering; He won’t dare to do that. He is innocent, your friend Surya would have died by some other reason, and if he is murderer then it would be someone else. Understood, don’t bother all such things, my child, go and relax. And listen don’t think about the mad person again, If u see him in case by chance, just ignore him, ok.. ok.. say yes now..", I answered, "Yes mama, you don’t believe me, its fine." I was moving towards my room. My mother came near me, moved her hands on my head and said, "Sanjana, I believe you. If that mad person is the culprit. He would be seriously punished accordingly. Justice really does happen with all. Believe in God." She patted my back. I smiled at her, as if I am convinced with what she said.

In room, holding some text book I was thinking about same incident. I always feel there is some truth behind the mad person's words. It had proved also once in the book case, his words were true, thatz how I got to know that book was with him. Was the book really with him? Am I thinking in right direction? Who has proof that the book was with him? How do I prove that the book was returned by Surya itself and he took from this mad person. If I prove that then I can prove easily that mad person is the killer. Only one person whom I feel knows is Sagarika, then I have to seriously talk with Sagarika. Yes, she would be aware by now, who returned the book. She and Surya became friends through the book itself right. So, I need to talk with her, But yaar, I have never seen her in college from start of this semester. Where is she? How would I search? hmmm. Was thinking about that suddenly remembered about morning walk! Yes, she comes for walking for sure. One or other day, I can catch her there.

At same time my brother entered the room. I was so anxious to tell my brother that I found the killer. But bit was feeling he was so depressed with that incident doesn't want to push him to depression again. But if I say him this he would feel bit better. Moreover I want him to wake me up early morning for a walk. And I can meet Sagarika.

I started with low tone, "Ranjan, I have something to share with you." He said, "Did mother give you my share of cake to you, Now give my share properly, I don’t want to share with you. I like cake equally as much u like it, you are aware right it’s my favorite, give me full share of mine." I said, "Goodness Ranjan, always behind cake or anything eatables only. I have something great news to share with you." He replied, "Oh ok, tell me, whatz that great news". He made a whacky face. Even I made faces and said with broad smile on face, "I saw today the mad person, who had that library book, do you remember?" He replied, "Oh ok, fine I remember. So, what now? Was he holding another library book today? Uff that mad person, why is he behind library books". I stopped him there, "Hey hey..he wasn't having any book with him, I just wanted to say some truth which is lying with him". For that words, my brother laughed loudly and said, "Oh now you found, why he became mad, his history all hahahaha". I was getting angry my brother is not ready to hear my words properly. I said, "get lost, if you are not interested to hear what I want to say don’t hear then".

Looking me angry, he came near me and said, "Hey sis, was kidding, you took it seriously? now say, shall hear to your words properly, wont say a word more ok .. is it fine, say now" I turned towards him, began "It so happened, i was traveling back to home in bus, in the same bus the mad person was there. He was talking with conductor; he said he killed one college guy. And its Surya itself, I am damn sure its Surya. I shall prove it."

He stood went near the balcony door of our room and said, "Shut up sis, simply don’t blame on innocent, he is not, he can’t be the murderer." I said, "Ranjan, it is he only, Since Surya threatened and took book from him, he took revenge against Surya like this. He killed Surya." My brother shouted at me, bit louder, "Will you stop thinking all such nonsense, he is not the killer, moreover for your information, Surya didn't get the book from him. It was me, It was me, me. It’s me, who threatened him and returned book to library got it. Now stop blaming on innocent people." He said so much and went out again.

This words, made me to think more about what would have happened.

It So Happened - Part-13

Drastically I was feeling change in my brother. He seems to be very happy now days. He used to always hum some romantic songs, Always attached with his mobile, chatting or in call. He used not go out for play as usual not even watch TV nor sit and talk with my parents or with me. He rarely spent time for us. I felt he was in love with someone. But with whom, Am I guessing it correct? Is he in love?

I don’t know why, my suspicion went on Sagarika itself. If it’s Sagarika, how did they meet? Where is their usual meeting point now a days? If it was in college I would have seen one or other day, I feel it’s not in college for sure? Where else? I was thinking on that, my mom called by then I went and got engaged with other work. I forgot about Sagarika and brother thoughts.

When I entered my room back, the thoughts again rolled back in my mind. Sagarika... my brother... how? when? where? was almost getting headache. I turned towards the clock, it was 8:40 p.m. My brother is still not in home, where is he? Is he meeting his love now? I doubt its Sagarika. I thought I need to call him to his cell, then I thought I can’t simply question him like that. I was so anxious; I went near the door and was walking to and fro near the door.

My mother saw me walking near the door. She smiled and asked "What? Did your brother promised to bring you some gifts?” I answered her "Wish it was so, now I wonder I won’t get something which I was not expecting from him". So my mother replied, "Oh, you already asked something for him. even I thought to ask, anyhow he is going to Gandhi Bazaar, I too thought shall ask him to get some bed sheets and curtains, but his choice is always so poor that I didn't ask him, by the way what did you asked him to bring?". I said, "Oh, so he has gone to shopping? Great, as he said anything, with whom he is going?" My mother said, "You didn't know then? He hasn't gone for shopping, he has gone for theater show, in that old theater near Gandhi bazaar. And might be he went with his friends, thatz fine, why are you waiting for him like this, never ever you waited?" I said, "Nothing, simply just for change" and went towards my room.

So, my brother has gone for theater show? Is it with his girl friend? I was getting angry against him. But its not Sagarika yaar, she was Surya's girlfriend right? It’s not she. She can be also, now Surya is no more. My head was aching so badly.

I slept with such thoughts.

Early morning, I woke up late, by then my brother was back from morning walk. I wanted to question him, something stopped me. As usual I went to college attended the classes and was back to home by bus. In my bus, I heard someone talking with conductor bit louder, "You know who am I? I killed one person recently, do you know? How dare he was, he scolded and threatened me, so I murdered him, so pity with him, he was a college going, now youth aged person." He took the name of our college also. I felt, was the victim is Surya. I turned with jerk to see, who that person was. To my greatest surprise, that was one great personality, whom I was desperately searching to see. It was the mad person. Yes the same mad person, who was at traffic signal. He was talking with conductor. I was shocked. Oh goodness, the mad person was one who murdered Surya, He took the book from this mad person, by beating, threatening him. So, this mad person might have killed him. I was just staring at the mad person. He saw me staring at him. He too started to stare at me. He came near me, the seat next to me was empty, I was scared, and what if he sits near me and does anything to me.

I was so scared. I got up from there and stood near the driver, as if I will get down in next stop, in turn if the mad person had taken one more step towards me, I would have got down for sure. By then conductor saw that and he might have understood that I was scared, he called that mad person towards him and said, "Your stop is not this, come and sit here, I shall say you. You were saying something right, you killed someone, tell me how you killed, come brave hero, come here". The mad person moved towards conductor. I sat in another seat next to one lady, near driver.

Mad person with zeal in his tune said, "I dragged him in the road, his friends left him alone. I dragged and kicked with my only one leg. One shot he died, hahaha, it was just one shot he died, I killed him. His friends were running seeing me killing him. They were so scared of me. hahahahaha" Conductor said, "Wow, you are so strong, that you cant stand yourself, still you kicked him with one leg, he died, Wow, you are very strong man. Everyone needs to be scared of you; even am scared of you boss. How long have you been in this area, Boss?" Conductor was making fun of him. But I was visualizing the truth in those words.

It So Happened - Part-12

As days passed, I too forgot about Surya's death. And I never saw that beautiful girl Sagarika or that mad person too. My brother was behaving normal. We, our family members went for sridi sai baba temple also. It was great time traveling and visiting many other temples. I was happy in my own world.

It seemed as if everything was some bad dream which I had. I never knew, in short span of time people really do forget the past. There was nothing past related to my life. But what happened till now, I don’t remember rather none makes me to remember it.

As usual me, my studies, family, that was only my world. I was enjoying my life. Still those moments, whatever happened seems to be mystery. I never asked my brother on that. I don’t want him to go to depressed mood again. His smile makes us smile; I wanted him to be happy always. He was as usual cracking jokes, making my parents and me smile always.

One afternoon in college, after the class, I was the last to leave the classroom. I took stairs and was moving ahead. I felt someone behind me was walking along with me, I mean someone was behind me, wasn't aware was that person following me or not. But felt he was walking with same pace, with some distance. Try to turn behind and look, I was unable to look at the face, it wasn't one person, they were two. Talking to each other they were moving. It made me somewhat scary. I slow down a bit, in turn wanted that person to move in front of me, so that I feel comfortable. I simply get scared for no reason. It’s my childhood behavior.

As those two guys passed by me. I was relaxed. I thought I simply got scared again. While those two guys were walking I observed one guy, He seems as if I have seen him before. I was wearing white shirt. I looked at his shirt collar. Might be I wanted to look at him. But something caught by eye sight at his collar. It had fresh blood stains on his collar, that guy was not bleeding. Goodness yaar, Doesn't know, I felt more scared. I bent my head took other way to avoid going behind those guys.

That day, I started to remember about Surya. While traveling to home, I was thinking about him. Did anyone kill him? How did he die? It’s almost 6 months now. No news about it. What did police do? Did they ever investigate? All such questions was triggering in my mind. Bus stopped at the traffic jam at circle. Same circle, where I used to see the mad person. It’s been so many days, I haven't seen him.

I looked all possible directions in search of that mad person. He came and went. As if his part was just to take the book of Sagarika and create a scene. Huh! Sagarika, where is she now a days. Yes, I too have stopped going to walking also. I never saw her.

At home, I didn't want to bring my thoughts in front of my brother and disturb him too. I was enjoying the time with my family members. At night had dreams about Surya, Sagarika and other person, the white collar person. I felt I saw that white collar person killing Surya that too in front of Sagarika, Saw her crying helplessly in middle of road. I felt like crying. I woke up. As I woke up and switched the light on.

My brother asked "What happened sis? Are you ok? Did u dream any bad dreams?" I answered, "Yes, it was a dream, but bro, How come you are so alert in this mid night, as soon as I switched the light, you are questioning me? Aren't you asleep?”

My brother stammered, "I.. I was sleeping, but some how woke up at same time, might be coincidence." I smiled, "Hmmm possible! It’s coincidence, that coincidence shouldn't be so much that we both dreamt same. “We laughed a bit. But we both didn't laugh from heart. My brother said, "Fine sis, Drink water, take god's name and sleep". I wondered why was he not bothered what was the dream I dreamt. I suppose he asked me before when I got such dreams. Why not today? Neither I was interested to say him.

I switched off the light and went to sleep. My sleep was disturbed. Wasn't able to sleep properly, I turned towards the wall, and with open eyes was looking at the wall. After a while, I saw a light reflection on the wall. From where is this light coming from. I turned slowly to look; I saw my brother's cell phone was emitting this light. He was chatting with someone. But who was it? At this late night who is it that my brother is messaging? I felt I should ask my brother. Then I felt I shouldn't, if he had something to share with me, then my brother would have said me. I shouldn't be a hitler to my brother, I turned back, closed my eyes and went for sleep.